How to Talk to Your Parents about Drugs and Alcohol
I'm concerned about my drug and alcohol use and I'm not sure where to turn. There's no way I'm talking to my parents. What should I do?
Sometimes you may think it seems pointless to talk to parents. You suspect that they'll just react poorly by getting mad, worried — or both.
But as hard as it may seem, your parents were your age once. They also had to deal with many
questions about drugs. They may not be as out of it as they seem to you at times, and you can open their eyes about what you are experiencing so they can understand and help. Ask for their support.
Also, your parents might have some ideas that you haven't thought of. They might have some ideas about figuring out whether you should be concerned.
And let's face it, hiding stuff from your parents always backfires because more often than not, they find out about your drug use and then there's a huge fight about lying to them and then they can't trust you at all. They'll trust you more if you start the conversation, and if you are worried or stressed about it, you can use adult help and support.
How do I talk to my parents about getting help? What should I say?
One of the hardest things in this world is to live in fear. And remember — our fears are much bigger than what actually happens when we try something new. So challenge yourself — think of talking to your parents as an act of courage, of toughness.
Some children are closer with one parent and not the other and there's no rule that you have to talk to both parents together. Start with one if that feels better to you.
Also, you might start by expressing your fear and ask your parent not to be angry with you. You might say, "You know, Mom (or Dad), I want to talk to you about something that's hard to talk about but I'm scared you'll just get mad." See how that introduction feels and then, "I'm wondering if I might have a problem with drugs."
Is it possible to talk to my parents about getting help - without admitting anything about my drugs or alcohol use?
Sure, it's possible. You may just not be ready to talk to your parents, but you might want to talk to a psychologist about it. You can say to your parents that you need to talk to someone professionally, a therapist, but you are not ready to talk to them about it.
You want them to respect that for the moment and that maybe in the future you can talk to them, but you know you need to explore some stuff with a neutral person — someone who will be objective. You need that safety for the moment. You might even ask for just one session with the therapist and see how that goes.
