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Rebuilding Family Relationships

Nov 30, 2021

Ashley Thompson | Alumni Care Coordinator

When I first got sober, I desperately wanted to rebuild my relationships. I made amends to my family members as guided by my sponsor. But I wondered what came next. I had to back up those amends by my actions, which was not an overnight matter by any means, and I didn’t know what else to do to show I was changing other than to stay sober.

Looking back, I now see how much more I did.

The essential thing I started with was calling my grandparents to see how they were doing and not to ask them for something. I also didn’t react when my grandfather would lecture me. I had to remember that my poor past choices were not forgotten.

Instead of always taking from my family as I had in the past, I started giving.

Once I was more financially stable, this sometimes meant buying them Christmas presents or birthday cards. In reality, it didn’t matter if I bought them something nice or sent them a homemade card. What mattered was I thought about somebody besides myself and showed them I was thinking about them.

Over the years, just showing my family that I valued and remembered them built beautiful relationships.

Then when my dad passed away a couple of years ago, I could fly home and support my family. The old me would have made it all about me and how I was feeling. This spiritually connected version tried to be there for my family in any way I could.

The next thing I knew, my family started calling me for advice and support.

The first time my mom called me for advice, I almost had a heart attack! It hit me how much I had grown and how much my family relationships had grown. A little action like a phone call and choosing better decisions changed everything for my family and me.

Giving a gift isn’t about worldly things.

It’s about saying I’m thinking about you and want to do something nice. If you don’t have money, that’s fine. As I said, make a card, or call and tell them you love them.

I stopped being selfish, and over time, that was just as crucial as being sober. Being sober alone would have never given me the beautiful relationships I have with friends and family today.

Hanley Center is a well-known care provider offering a range of treatment programs targeting the recovery from substance use, mental health issues, and beyond. Our primary mission is to provide a clear path to a life of healing and restoration. We offer renowned clinical care and have the compassion and professional expertise to guide you toward lasting recovery.

For information on our programs, call us today: 561-841-1033.

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